I write 1-minute insights daily. Below are my latest. Like? Enter your email to get updates.
I help busy people do inner work.
I write 1-minute insights daily. Below are my latest. Like? Enter your email to get updates.
What’s a moment from your childhood that taught you to hide your true self?
…For me?
I think back to times when I got my feelings hurt and started crying and was made fun of… which taught me to hide moments of embarrassment and pain…
Or times when I would eagerly answer a question in school or get a higher grade on a test or assignment than my friends and get made fun of for being a goodie goodie… which taught me to answer less questions and be less of that.
Or times when I was made fun of for being chubby… which taught me to hide behind certain kinds of clothes and styles and avoid certain situations—like going to the pool or beach—where my “true” self would be on full display.
Part of growing up and maturing is recognizing these learned behaviors for what they are… innocent behaviors adopted to please others… to fit in better… to avoid being made fun of and improve social status…
…And taking actions that’ll help us realign with our true self once again.
To unlearn the behavior of suppressing emotion and learning how to feel all of it once again.
To unlearn the behavior of holding ourselves back or watering ourselves down and learning how to push ourselves to unleash our full potential once again.
To unlearn the behavior of hiding behind clothes and feeling shame about our bodies and learning how to live with less self-consciousness and more joy once again.
…What are moments from your childhood and what behaviors is it time for you to unlearn?
Spend a little time each day helping people while you still can…
It’s one of the best ways to ensure that when you need help, you’ll have people who not only can…
But want to and will.
For each of the above situations, there are things I can do to help out. Things I can do to show thoughtfulness and care. Things I can do to make a real difference in their day… maybe even longer than that.
And my bet is, that’s probably true for you, too. Maybe not to the same extent that it happened for me on this particular day… but there none-the-less. Heck… maybe even more so?
My point is… maybe you’re focusing too much on the grandiose or getting too distracted on screen impact… and not enough on the folks in your own neighborhoods and in real life (IRL). The time, energy, and effort invested IRL can have an exponential effect compared to the same invested into screens.
I made a very deliberate choice to publish these daily writings with no images.
It streamlines the process and challenges me to make my words the art.
But sometimes, you come across an image that’s so good, you start to question whether there is any possible way to explain the idea better with only words…
And the below image (link here if it’s not showing) felt like one of those ideas:
…This is what this daily writing practice is about.
…This is what having some kind of reflective / therapeutic practice is all about.
…This is what inner work is about.
It’s about taking everything that’s floating around nonsensically and non-linearly in our head—out of our head—and laying it all flat on paper, canvas, or screen… and making sense of it all and giving it some kind of linear understanding.
The people who don’t make time for reflective type inner work… experience a harder type of existence. Not because their existence is inherently harder… but because they haven’t done the smart work required to make it easier.
…Yet.
P.s. ICYMI you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week here.
I had about one hour of usable time for this post today… and I spent all of it karaoke-ing and dancing in my house, by myself.
It started with car karaoke with a friend, put me onto an old, FIRE playlist that I haven’t listened to in a while, and ended with the above decision vs killing the vibe and staring at a blank screen until words happened.
Here’s the thing that inner work has taught me: if you find yourself in an ideal, ecstatic, overflowing state… then no further work is needed. What more could possibly be done?
…You’ve arrived. You’re living the byproduct of the work. The only thing to do from there is nothing but enjoy.
…Don’t miss the forest for the trees.
I was speaking to a friend today about doing hard things.
And he was reflecting on a time he did a 4x4x48: 4 miles every 4 hours for 48 hours (which totals up to 48 miles).
He was talking about the self-deflating inner dialogue that happened throughout (“This is so stupid…” “You can’t do this…” “Why’d you let those guys talk you into this…” etc); he mentioned the moments of sheer frustration and agony… to the point of hallucinating images of and having conversations with The Banana Splits; he recalled how he got sick immediately after and how it took him three months to fully recover…
And yet…
…In the same breath, he curiously pondered the idea of doing it again.
The paradox of our reality as humans is that our mind is constantly trying to box us into the most comfortable, predictable, easy, secure, luxurious space possible. Our hearts, however… yearn to stretch. They seek adventure… depth… challenge… wonder… meaning…
And something magical happens when we accomplish an incredible physical feat like a 4x4x48… when our heart is beating faster and harder than our mind can think new thoughts…
…We’re reminded of this.
We’re reminded of the power of following our heart and quieting our mind. Either by increasing the volume of our heart or by decreasing the volume of our mind. And once we taste that: the feeling of adventure lived… depth explored… challenge completed… wonder revealed… meaning felt…
The volume of our heart never returns to it’s prior level. It remains a little louder than it was before. And even when the mental chatter gets turned up… the whispers of our heart more regularly break through.