I write 1-minute insights daily. Below are my latest. Like? Enter your email to get updates.
I help busy people do inner work.
I write 1-minute insights daily. Below are my latest. Like? Enter your email to get updates.
Years ago, I exchanged martial arts private lessons for cooking lessons from a student of mine who was a chef.
I would bike to his restaurant, meet him in the basement, and act as his apprentice for a few hours each week—cutting, caramelizing, mixing, mincing, simmering, and sautéing with his direction.
And on the flip side, I would meet him at the martial arts school, teach him one-on-one lessons in forms, self-defense, and weapons.
This continued weekly-ish for about 6 months.
Fast forward to 2026, and I recently started a subscription to a food + recipe delivery service. They deliver recipes and all the groceries you’ll need for those meals. All you have to do is follow the steps and voila! …Your meals are done within a reasonable timeframe (one that you can pre-select).
…I am learning more from this latter approach than I ever did doing private lessons from a professional chef.
And in retrospect, the big reasons why include: (1) He was preparing meals for 50+ people at a time—so the quantities, portions, pot ware used, etc., was significantly inflated from what I needed to be doing for my one-stomach-self; (2) He was giving me intuitive advice—things based on taste, not recipes… and my palette wasn’t nearly as trained as his; (3) The experience gap was too great—I was simply too much of a beginner to really digest everything he would say.
This is all to say, sometimes you don’t need to learn from the best in a field… in fact, it might serve you (and your wallet) better to learn from those who are just a few steps above where you want to be.
While out with a friend last night, we decided we wanted to find a place to dance.
The first spot we went to had us barely two stepping. It was slow and there wasn’t really any dancing vibes. We tried, but the most they were able to get out of us, movement-wise, was a trip to the bar.
The second spot featured a DJ my friend knew. A tried-and-proven vibe controller and he didn’t let either of us down. Neither of us stopped moving the whole night and couldn’t help but overflow a contagious energy to everybody else who was in our general vicinity.
Creating a split screen image in your head of us at spot #1 barely two-stepping and us at spot #2 uncontrollably expressing ourselves can illustrate beautifully the power and importance of alignment and environment.
When you’re out of alignment, you’re forced to operate at a suboptimal level. You do your best to bring the energy, raise the vibration, and express your best self—but, you’ll almost always get throttled.
When you’re in alignment, you almost can’t stop your optimal level from expressing itself. Your energy overflows uncontrollably, your vibration is pulsing perfectly, and your best version is simply doing its thing!
That said, there is an undeniable responsibility that lies in the hands of the person—it’s not 100% the environment’s job to bring out the best in you. But you better believe that environment plays a major role.
…A role worth thinking about as much as you might spend thinking about how you most want to show up in the world.
What do you do… in those moments you know you’ll always remember?
…In those crossroads moments?
…In those moments that represent a major shift or you know will make it onto your life’s highlight reel?
…At graduations? …At milestone birthdays? …At performance events? …At first dates? …At once-in-a-lifetime travel views?
…How do you step into that type of moment?
…How should you act?
…Should you record so you can reflect on it?
…Or should you step into that space in full presence and awareness?
…Maybe some combination of the two?
Can you step into a space with full awareness and presence if you’re thinking in the background about which moment(s) to capture? Maybe the moment happens when you think it will. Maybe another moment comes up that you think might be better? Maybe you decide to just capture them all and figure it out later?
…But then are you ever really there?
…What do you do?
Maybe outsource it to another? But then does it place a burden onto them that steals them away from presence and awareness? Or maybe it’d be a distinct joy to be able to rewatch this key moment a thousand times over on a screen? Maybe even more so than one fully absorbed and present time?
…And finally: are there ever really moments that are worth a careful contemplation like this over others? Or are all moments worth thinking carefully about like this?
Because I’ve been writing every day for a long time and I’ll tell you what…
There’s an unbelievable depth in each day.
The question is not whether or not we’re leaving pieces of us behind… the question is to whom are we leaving behind those pieces?
…And what pieces of ourselves are they getting left with (to utilize; to loathe; to remember us by; to resent us for)?
If you have social anxiety or feel nervous about showing up to an event solo that you want to go to… because you feel like you need your family or friends there with you at all times… maybe just try showing up and seeing what happens?
If you feel tired or like you’d rather be lazy… or feel like you need to be motivated or amped up before going to a workout class or exercise based activity… maybe just commit to showing up and seeing what happens?
If you are a planner and get invited to a trip with friends, but don’t have details on where you’ll be staying… who you’ll be staying with… modes of transportation… etc… all that’s confirmed is the round trip plane ticket… maybe just commit to the plane ticket and trust that you’ll figure out the rest as it unfolds…?
Maybe instead of needing to know all of the exact details ahead of time… or needing specific criteria to be met… or needing to feel a certain kind of way before doing or trying something…
Maybe just commit to showing up and seeing what happens from there?
A parent got upset with me about how one of our martial arts programs was presented.
I’ve been thinking about the interaction a lot. And, consequently, how our programs are presented.
It’s lead to some intriguing conversations with my associates and some new ideas on how we might restructure and proceed. In, what we hope will be, a better way.
And if I (we) can continue to channel the emotional energy we might feel from harsh criticism and heated feedback into constructive brainstorming and actions for improvement… then, in some sense, we should be thankful for harsh criticism and heated feedback.
…Because evolution comes from pressure, not comfort. And if what comes unto criticism can withstand the flames, then it comes out on the other side better; more tested; more polished.
And if it can’t… then it’s a good thing it was brought to your attention and burned.
…Because otherwise, you’d be left peddling a lower, less evolved thing from a lower, less evolved version that has a lower, less evolved experience and understanding.
…And nobody wants that.
Being disciplined is impressive.
Living aligned is like being consistently disciplined… only without as much effort.
Being disciplined is not eating a cookie when there’s constantly a bowl of them in front of you. Living aligned is not eating a cookie because there aren’t any cookies for you to eat.
Being disciplined is forcing yourself to get through a grueling workout. Living aligned is getting your workout in via your favorite sport/activity.
Being disciplined is working hard on a project that bores you to tears. Living aligned is looking up at the clock after having worked really hard on a project and being shocked at how much time has gone by… and wanting to keep going to complete more.
If you find yourself wondering how the best are as disciplined as they are… it’s not because they have a superhuman amount of willpower… it’s because they’re excellent at aligning what needs to get done with their circadian rhythm/schedule, aptitudes/abilities, interests/curiosities, identity/self-awareness, home/work environments, and so on.
Don’t blame it on the discipline… blame it on the misalignment.