I write 1-minute insights daily. Below are my latest. Like? Enter your email to get updates.
I help busy people do inner work.
I write 1-minute insights daily. Below are my latest. Like? Enter your email to get updates.
Pointing out problems is about the lowest form of helpful as it comes.
Anybody can point out problems.
The world and everybody’s micro-world are each and all littered with them.
Pointing at all of the “litter” shows that you can at least see it—and maybe even you care. Heck, maybe you’re even able to spot the hard-to-find litter. The litter that’s camouflaged that only a true professional is able to find. Great. Identifying the problem is the first step towards solving the problem.
Left at that, though? It’s not exactly helpful.
A level above that might be the problem-solver. This is the person who not only identifies the problem, but takes action towards solving it. It’s the person who sees the litter and then goes and picks it up. This is helpful. Much more helpful than just pointing it out and making it somebody else’s problem.
Left at that, though? And it’s only a matter of time before the litter is back and the action needs to be repeated.
A level above that, what I might say is the peak level, is the solutionist. The solutionist is the one who identifies the problem, takes action towards not only solving the problem, but solving the cause of the problem. Solutionists fix systems. They figure out what’s leading to the litter and come up with a solution that not only addresses the current litter, but prevents future litter from accumulating.
In a world of problem pointers and problem passers… be a solutionist.
And if you can’t be a solutionist… at least be a problem-solver.
Because yes, we’re aware of the litter. And no, you pointing at it isn’t what’s needed.
…But not everywhere you go brings out the same you.
Go elsewhere with the intent of distraction, and so shall you find the distracted you.
Go elsewhere with the intent of reflection, and so shall you find the reflective you.
The same is true with not going anywhere at all.
Sit down at your desk today with the intent of distraction or reflection and so, too, shall you find.
Unless, of course, where you are overpowers your intentions.
It’s quite possible that your desk is in a place where disruptions are frequent, noises are jarring, and distractions are too real. And regardless of your intent, the environment elicits the distracted you.
And if that’s the case, then worth considering is going… elsewhere. Somewhere where your intentions can be held. Where the environment doesn’t sabotage your efforts.
And so it’s not necessarily wherever you go, there you are. It’s more along the lines of depending on where you go… there you’ll find—the version of you the environment elicits or aligns with.
A life tip: If there’s something you want to do, and the people in your life don’t want to do it with you—do it anyway… do it solo.
…Why?
Because that’s the very place where you meet the people who want to do those kinds of things with you.
Your people are out there.
Sometimes you just have to meet them without the people you currently have in your life.
In fact, the people in your life might very well be a crutch to meeting the others.
Which isn’t a shot at the people in your life. It’s just that nobody can be everything to a person.
Different people serve different roles in a person’s life. And if there’s a role you feel isn’t being fulfilled—it’s not their fault. It’s your opportunity to go out and find the ones who will help you fulfill it.
The question is: will you find the courage to venture out alone?
Mentioned yesterday in 10 Safety Tactics For Women, this piece is an elaboration on the idea mentioned of “Lie To Survive.” Please share with the women in your life.
You do NOT owe a stranger anything. Remaining calm and answering with a lie can help you escape an uncomfortable or unsafe situation without it escalating.
Remember, somebody with bad intentions is looking for an easy target—lying can psychologically make things difficult for them. And getting away unscathed is the primary goal in self-defense.
Is “No” a complete sentence? Yes.
Could you be rude/nasty? Yes.
Could you ignore them? Yes.
But this can escalate matters rather than the opposite.
Why plug in a male figure? It’s intimidating to them.
Caught in the lie? Ask the bartender/bouncer/employee to walk you to your car or get someone (even 911) on the phone.
The following was curated for a Women’s Self-Defense class being hosted at the martial arts school I teach at. Please share with the women in your life.
1. Immediately Lock Doors Behind You (When getting home, in your car, AirBnb, etc.)—Make it a habit.
2. Never Sit In A Parked Car And Scroll (Social Media, Emails, Texts, etc)—A distracted person is an easy target.
3. Never Accept Food, Drinks, or Mints From A Rideshare Driver—No matter how trustworthy or untampered with they look.
4. When Out Running/Jogging/Walking—Don’t have both ear/air pods in. You need to hear what’s around you.
5. Never Open Your Door To Anybody You Don’t Know—Not even a claimed delivery driver/utility worker. Didn’t track it and not expecting it? Don’t answer.
6. Date Safety Text: Always text to a family member or friend that includes your date’s full name, phone number, picture of what they look like, location & time, and safe word/phrase that signals you need help.
7. Never Leave Your Drink Unattended—If it even leaves your line of vision, get a new one.
8. If You’re Ever Being Followed While Driving—Don’t go home. Make 3 right turns to confirm then call 911 & drive directly to a police station.
9. Never Say Any Of Your Personal Information Out Loud—Think: Doctor’s Offices, Pharmacies, etc. Hand them your ID or write it out on a note on your phone.
10. Never Tell Strangers You’re Alone. You’re not traveling alone, you don’t live alone, you’re not out alone, etc… ever. You’re always meeting somebody. Lie to survive.
The inner work is not just in reading… it’s in internalizing.
Saying this as a mantra to yourself is an excellent strategy when there’s nothing else you’re going to do about solving the problem today.
Because worrying about a problem there’s nothing else you’re going to do about today is a waste of time and precious energy.
When I was recently camping in an RV, for example, I discovered the battery died 2-days into a 3-day trip. I knew what I had to do to jump it, knew who I could call if it didn’t work, and checked to make sure I had everything figured out.
Knowing I didn’t want to risk it dying a second time (which would’ve made it a worse and a more limited situation), I decided I didn’t need to jump it that day (I wasn’t going anywhere) and told myself, “That’s a tomorrow problem.”
…And I went back to enjoying the trip.
Another example is when I’m exhausted and faced with work that needs to be done. Is forcing myself to get it done then really necessary or needlessly wasting time and energy in a counterproductive work-state when I could be resting, recharging, and refueling for a fresh attack at the problem the next day?
Don’t confuse this with needless procrastination.
If it can and should be done today, then you can and should do it.
For getting things done is an excellent strategy for eliminating worry about getting those things done—better than putting it off until tomorrow ever is.
The question is: within which realm does this problem fall? And let your time and space dedicated to inner work help illuminate the answer you need to hear.
I saved a bee this morning.
It was stuck in my window. Moving quite slowly. Seemingly near the end of its life.
I got a cup and paper towel.
I guided the bee into the cup and used the paper towel to keep it inside while I walked downstairs to let it outside.
Once outside, I let off the paper towel by a tree so that it could walk onto a branch.
To my delight, it flew away as soon as it sensed fresh air.
It took me less than three minutes to do this.
Will this action change the world?
No.
…Not in any grand way at least.
But will this being-willing-to-do-something-for-the-greater-good-irrespective-of-impact-size attitude change the world?
…I’d say in more ways than the number of dollars on this earth.