I write 1-minute insights daily. Below are my latest. Like? Enter your email to get updates.
I help busy people do inner work.
I write 1-minute insights daily. Below are my latest. Like? Enter your email to get updates.
I watched a dance battle yesterday.
It was open to anybody who wanted compete and there were three judges who picked the top 16, then the winner of each 1v1 battle, until the bracket led them to the final four.
Before they ran the final battles, however, to crown the winner… they paused the show and did something that’s apparently tradition in dance battle culture called “Show and Prove.”
And while the final four competitors prepared, the judges each did a one minute performance to show and prove why they were chosen and qualified to be in the judges seat.
The audience loved it. The competitors respected it. And in a world of keyboard warriors where so many people are putting themselves in the “judges seat” and hating on and critiquing things they have never even done themselves—it felt like a refreshing thing to share.
And what an incredibly fun mission that was to fulfill.
Some promises I’ve heard other people make to themselves and others at music shows:
Choose your mission; choose your destiny.
…Because what you choose to focus on is what you’ll see and work to problem solve.
And making it your mission to “Not have a bad time” is not the same as “Having the best time.”
I’m pretty busy at work these days.
I could pull an 80-hour work week and still have plenty left to do—all things I’m trying to cram into my 40-hour work week as best I can.
…Maybe you can relate.
Add on top of that the fact that oftentimes as I’m working, I’ll get interrupted.
I’ll have kids peek-a-boo into my office, parents stop in to ask questions, instructors ask for advice or guidance, staff share daily happenings, students want to talk or chat the chat with me… and so on…
And it makes getting all of the busy done, as efficiently as I’d like to, challenging.
…But you know what?
The inefficiencies are where the magic happens, isn’t it?
It’s those moments spent peek-a-booing with kids… chatting with parents about life… giving instructors guidance… interacting with my staff whom I’m so proud to have on my team… and chatting the pointless chat with students… that make all of the damn work I’m trying to efficiently get done—worth it.
Without them, I’d be clacking away at a keyboard… for what? For whom?
…Maybe you can relate?
Black Belt Candidate #1:
– Showed up early to every practice, pre-test, and test
– Trained, rehearsed, and started drilling curriculum requirements early
– Got his/her curriculum approved to the highest standard
– Wrote an earnest black belt essay that reflected careful, deep thought
– Completed a service project that made a lasting and meaningful impact on both them and others
– Received a glowing letter of recommendation from an individual who could attest to character demonstrated over the course of years
– Courageously shaved their head/participated in a physical demonstration of humility
– Fasted before their test for the challenge and ritualistic cleanse of the body
– Gave their 100% best effort at each step of the testing process
Black Belt Candidate #2:
– Showed up late to every practice, pre-test, and test
– Waited until the last minute to train, rehearse, and start drilling curriculum requirements
– Got his/her curriculum approved according to the bare minimum standard
– Used AI to write their essay and added minimal thought and/or editing
– Did a last minute service project that they made sound better than it was
– Received a short, generic letter of recommendation
– Decided against participating in a physical demonstration of humility because of fear
– Didn’t want to feel hungry so didn’t fast for their test
– Did just enough to get by at each step of the testing process
…You may not be a martial artist. Heck, you might never even step into a martial arts school. But the contrast in decisions outlined above and what results apply universally. Candidate #1 and candidate #2 are going to feel completely different about their belt, the testing process, and themself… my question for you is: which candidate are you in your domain of life?
In all my years running black belt and higher degree test, I’ve never had anybody say to me they regret participating in a really hard test.
Heck, candidates are much quicker to complain about a test being easy than they ever are to complain about a test being hard.
In fact, hard tests usually lead to bragging more than any kind of complaint.
And I think this illustrates something about all of us. That surface level, sure, we want to follow the path of least resistance. And do what’s easy. And complain about all that’s hard with our life.
…But that we also crave meaning.
And that deep down we know that nothing worthwhile comes easily. And so when we sign up for something that’s supposed to be hard, if we don’t get it, we complain because what we were after wasn’t “easy”—what we were after was meaning.
And by not giving us hard, it isn’t that you gifted us easy… it’s that you took away meaning.
…And that’s much harder to deal with than a meaningless easy.
Some of our martial arts students will shave their heads before big black belt or higher degree tests as a demonstration of their humility—to demonstrate that they are more than their hair. And that it isn’t the hair that makes the person, it’s the character that does.
And some of the students will really struggle with this… they’ll worry about what other people might say to them about it and/or that they’ll get made fun of or ostracized in some way.
…But I tell you what, the students who do go through with it? The ones who choose to sacrifice beauty for a chance to build character? The ones who decide to trust in their self-opinion more than in the opinion of others? The ones who choose the difficult route over the comfort zone option?
These are the students who get the most from their black belt and higher degree tests. These are the students who leave the test, not just with a different colored belt or added bar, but with a different colored character and an example that raises the bar.
…Because these are the students—not just of the martial arts who are in it for belts and titles—but of life who are in it for self-awareness and experiential knowledge.
…Who would you ask to recount your true and most honest version of yourself?
Isn’t it interesting to think that each person you asked… would recount a different “true” and “most honest” version of you as seen through their eyes?
It’s worth sitting with this and asking yourself how the different people in your life would recount you to the amnesia you.
And then linger with that thought and decide if you’re happy with that… or if there are pieces of you missing that you would never get back because you’ve never given them out…
And decide if you want to do something about that…
…Or keep hiding what you might consider your most true and honest pieces?